A Newlywed's Take on why Self Love is Key to a Healthy Relationship

A Newlywed's Take on why Self Love is Key to a Healthy Relationship

How did you and your hubby meet?

His sister and my sister met freshman year of high school. One was wearing the matching pants to the other’s top and instantly became best friends. Our families became close over the years and even spent holidays together! We were around 6-7 years old when we first met. 

How long have the two of you been together?

We’ve been on and off for 3 1/2 years. We always knew we would end up together so we decided to put ourselves first. Focusing on our own education and careers meant taking breaks every few months to really focus on what we had going on that time. That also meant seeing other people was okay. We had to figure out ourselves and what we individually wanted before pursing our lives together. I know it shaped our relationship into a strong partnership. In December 2017, we saw each other two weeks before Christmas. We just knew it was our time. 

How did you know that he was 'the one?'

On my 21st birthday, my then family friend, Nico, came to my birthday celebration. I was not into him but couldn’t help noticing over the years how amazingly good looking he’d grown into. I finally agreed a few weeks later to go out with him. The weekend before Fourth of July, we spent the late afternoon together at my community pool. It was starting to get dark outside and I had plans to go on a medical mission to Haiti the next day so we decided to leave. Hand in hand, he was walking me home on this scenic pathway that lead to my house. He whipped me around and kissed me for the very first time. At that EXACT moment, actual fireworks starting going off in the sky. It honestly was just like a movie scene. THAT was the moment I knew. Neither of us had any idea that was going to happen and we just knew it was fate celebrating our unity.

why self love is important to relationship

When did you get your Self Love Pinky Ring (before or during your relationship) and what did it symbolize for you at the time?

I got my ring at the end of last summer. It’s actually my one year anniversary! At the time, Nico and I were not together and I was seeing other men. I did something with somebody else and I wasn’t proud of it. This wrongful act really affected me emotionally and I couldn’t cope with myself. I went against all my own morales, my own character, my own self will. After some time passed and I was still in a depression, I decided enough was enough and I needed to get out of this funk and forgive myself. I bought my Fred and Far Self Love Pinky Ring, promised to stay true to myself, promised abstinence until marriage, promised to remove meat from my diet, and keep myself focused on school.

Did the message behind the ring change for you at different points/stages in your relationship?

I wear my ring EVERYDAY to remind myself to focus. I stayed true to my promises and that’s something I’m really proud of. The message still stands, to focus and be true to myself.

Throughout your relationship, how did you make sure that you were practicing self love and self care?

Honestly, that doesn’t come easy and I put some work into it. Do the little things for yourself that make you feel like a bombshell. Take a hot shower, go to that yoga class, color in a coloring book instead of watching tv, light a candle, drink water, go outside for a walk, get your hair done. Feed your soul. Some of this is superficial but mostly it comes from within.

How do you think that self love played a role in your relationship?

The breaks Nico and I took to focus on ourselves really helped out. By being apart, we learned how to put our own needs first. Never resent your partner for trying to better themselves. At the end of the day. It strengthens your bond with each other.

How did you balance practicing self love while loving your partner?

When you care for someone else, you want to see them happy right? So do things your partner likes to do that are not necessarily your favorite things. It goes a long way and your ability to care for your partner becomes so much more meaningful. One thing I do for self fulfillment is aerial yoga with the silk hammocks. Every now and then Nico will go with me just because he knows I like to share the experience with him. Nico loves surfing but I’m terrified to be past my waist in the ocean. He taught me how to surf- or tried to- even though I just wanted to get on the sand. You give, take, and repeat.

why self love is important to your marriage

What advice do you have for women who struggle with the idea of self love or self care because they see it as selfish or vain?

It’s the most important action you can take! When you’re on an airplane, they have that saying “help yourself before helping others.” That message stuck. How do you expect to love and respect others if you can’t love and respect yourself? Think about it, when you’re in a bad mood, you most likely will take it out on somebody else. You could respond negatively to a comment, choose to make a big deal out of the bad service you received from a waitress, and so on. Your mood, your behavior, your actions- they’re all from within. YOU choose how to deal with things. Make good choices for yourself in order to show good to others. Figure out what makes you YOU and stick with it. Don’t let anyone change you. One of my favorite things about people is that they’re their own person. Embrace your weirdness, individuality, body, and soul. Do what makes you happy and focus.

We noticed that you were wearing your Self Love Pinky Ring in your wedding photos! So beautiful! What was the symbolism behind wearing it in those photos for you?

Thank You!! Well it goes without saying that it’s a beautiful and classic piece of jewelry. As I get many compliments while wearing it, I also get to share the importance of Fred and Far. I wear my engagement and pinky ring everyday so why would I not wear it on one of the most historic days of my life? It was without a question. Everything I told myself I would accomplish came true. Staying true to myself was all it took. 

why self love is important to marriage

What role will the ring play for you during your marriage?

My husband is in the Navy. We only get to see each other once a month. As our wedding bands symbolize our unity and trust with each other, the pinky ring allows me to practice self love and self fulfillment. I’m still true to myself even though we’re married. 

How will you continue to practice self love in your marriage?

Happy wife, happy life, right? It’s so important that we each are individually happy with ourselves in order to be happy with each other. I’m going to continue with my regimen and make sure I’m taking care of my mind, body, and soul.  

How do you practice self love on a daily/weekly basis?

Do what you can at that moment. Life is busy but you’re not going to get anything done if you think there’s no time. Drink some tea before you go to bed, use your 30 minute lunch break for a light walk, put a mud mask on while you do the dishes. Make time for yourself even if that means multi tasking. Above all, stay strong, know your worth, and keep true to your own beliefs and morales. You will figure it out! 

Sending a huge congratulations and lots of love to tribe member Joslyn! If you are in need of a little reminder to practice self love in your relationship, shop our self love pinky ring collection.