Two words. Eight letters. Say them and you’re all yours.
Self Love.
Looking back at the twenty-five years that I have been around, it amazes me to think that it took me so long to embrace this concept. Self love is complex, but it is also very simple. It’s a lot of effort that you have to put in to become the best version of yourself, but it is also defined by the small moments that make you who you are. Overall, I like to think of self love as a balancing act between those big formative steps and the tiny defining moments. I learned this the hard way. It took me much longer to reach my destination, but I think those trials and tribulations make me love myself even more. And today, I’m here to remind YOU to fall in love with yourself.
If you’ve been following my journey, you have probably heard me talk about the impacts of racial discrimination that I suffered through while growing up. I’m not here to reiterate those points. Those moments are always going to be a part of my life, but like I’ve said before, they don’t have to define who I am today. I didn’t let them. I think that even at my lowest, I was lucky enough to find a ray of light that guided me. As cliché as it may sound, I took my pain and turned it into gold; gold that would help uplift others, make them believe in themselves and in positivity even at their worst. I decided to be there for anyone and everyone, to look for the good in this world.
At some point down the road, I made a promise to myself: to always choose kindness.
At some point down the road, I made a promise to myself: to always choose kindness. Because I believe that kindness can heal anyone, starting with myself. And so it did. I met many people on this journey. I always tried my best to stay true to myself and to my promise. I always chose to be kind. Some people understood it and spoke the same language of love. Others didn’t and instead, took advantage of it. Those who reciprocated are the people who stand out in my life, who make up a piece of me. They are the ones who I value as a significant part of my self love journey. And one of those extraordinary people is Melody.
When I moved to New York in 2016, I was basically living on cloud nine. My childhood dream was coming true right in front of my eyes. I was thriving on the fast-paced, chaotic yet magical lifestyle that this city makes you experience. However, it was also a daunting space. I had just graduated from college, had just stepped into this insanely real world. From creating a strong foundation for my career, to giving back and helping those in need, I had many aspirations. However, I didn’t quite have the vision to bring those aspirations to life. There were so many things that I wished to do at once, but didn’t know where to start.
One day, as I was scrolling through Instagram, I stumbled upon Fred and Far. I quickly learned that the founder, Melody, created the brand to serve as a self love movement, to provide people with a bold reminder to choose, honor, and remember themselves. By a stroke of fate, the self love ring that she brought into this world became a significant part of my personal self love movement. It has been tied to my identity, people notice that I wear it everyday. I didn’t need the ring to magically turn me into the person that I am today, but it was the significance that it held which became a momentous part of my journey till now. On the days that I forget to wear it, I smile because I have realized that the ring serves the purpose it was created to serve - it is a daily reminder that I can be a guiding light for the world, only if I can take care of myself first.
The moral of my story isn’t that you need to find an object or a person to tie your self love journey to. I am here to tell you that love starts today, and it starts with YOU.
The moral of my story isn’t that you need to find an object or a person to tie your self love journey to. I am here to tell you that love starts today, and it starts with YOU. Looking back, when I first ordered my ring, I was in need of self-assurance, or a sign from the universe to help me achieve my goals. After all, it is human nature to search for signs that will restore your faith in the dreams that you wish to manifest. If you put in the effort to, you will find a million cues to love yourself. Let the fact that you stumbled upon this blog post today be the sign that you need. Let these words be your reminder. You are not all the things that this world wants or needs you to be, you are made of all the things that you want to be. Be your own sun and moon, be your own saving grace. I made a promise to myself, and I’ve kept it. And now, I want you to promise yourself. I want you to promise yourself that as long as you have yourself, you will always have everything.
All my love,
Shalini
To connect with Shalini, check out her instagram profile and her website.
Shalini's original 2016 post about joining our sisterhood is below. Enjoy!