" #theabcsofselflove challenge Day 2️⃣ Boundaries. This is such a big one for me - it’s actually how I started doing the @fredandfar challenges. Boundaries are awesome. It’s better to say no and honor your feelings than “suck It up” to do what everyone else wants and be miserable. Yesterday I had a horrible headache and decided to stay off my phone for most of the day (also why I’m posting this a day late). A silly boundary - but It made a big impact. These little boundaries set you up to define your bigger boundaries.
I am a recovering people pleaser. I rarely said no without guilt. I catered to everyone and didn’t do much for me. In the early 2000’s there was a movie I really wanted to see. But none of my friends would go with me. Instead of one more night sitting at home waiting for friends, I took myself out to the show. I didn’t have a cell phone so I didn’t have to worry about being reached. I wanted a night just for me. Another little boundary - but important.
A few years ago when I first discovered @fredandfar, Melody had asked what did you for yourself during the morning. I had confronted a toxic friend. It ended our friendship, but I didn’t feel like It was a loss. Mel, someone who didn’t know me at all told me how proud she was for setting that boundary… and then so many others messaged me privately to ask what I did and if I was scared. I just felt sick and tired of feeling nervous for what she would say to me & that’s not a great friendship.
Since then, I’ve gotten good at saying no and not tolerating less than the best from the people I am around." - Melissa