The One Who Is Tired

The One Who Is Tired

"I'm tired of being judged for not being married or having kids.

"I once saw an interview with Shonda Rhimes discussing her opinion about wanting to be married and having children. She stated she could never see herself being married and never had a desire for it. She continued to state that society often shames women for this because we’re supposed to “want it” and if not; “there must be something wrong”.

"Whenever I tell people I don’t have kids, I get one of two responses; either the person is “proud” of me (and possibly impressed), or they appear to be confused as if they’re trying to assess why. I also have friends who say “I should be married with kids by now” despite all their accomplishments.

"As for my parents, they have two different opinions about my status as a 31 year-old, single, childless woman. My mother is “proud” of me and my father at times states “it would be nice if you gave me a grandchild before I passed away” as if I am consciously not having a child to spite him. In a past conversation, he stated “you don’t want kids”, as if it would give him an understanding about my childless life. I’m often annoyed by these responses simply because I always have to explain why I am childless and single. During my mid twenties, I used to wonder if I was "failing as a woman"; often questioning, if "I'm good enough" due to being single and childless. Once I turned 30, I began to embrace life and became appreciative of the things I have achieved in my life thus far. I’ve also come to the realization these things may not happen for me, and have thought of adopting as an option.

"It was only as of 1920 women were allowed to vote and work. Before then, a woman's purpose was only to provide domestic services in her household. With that being said, people still have those values ingrained in them regarding what a "woman's role" should be and in turn, attempt to pass it on to their children, such as raising girls to keep the house clean and cook as well as raising boys to find a woman who has these qualities while not teaching them to be self-sufficient. With time, women will continue to challenge these stereotypes, prejudices, and discrimination by fighting for their rights which will slowly change society's expectations.

Since becoming apart of the I'm Tired Project and sharing a sensitive part about my life to the world, it has made me realize I am not the only one who often feels devalued by others expectations. Since I've joined the Fred an Far tribe, my pinky ring is a reminder to continue to embrace and love myself unconditionally and that I am perfectly imperfect. With this ring I promise to love myself a little harder, hug myself a little tighter, and lift my head a little higher."

We're profoundly honored to welcome Dawn to the tribe. Her photograph and story was originally published as part of the Im Tired Project. When I discovered her, I knew she had to be part of the tribe.


I'm Tired Photo credit: Rob Olsson
I'm Tired Editing credit: Rob Olsson