Self-care is hard. The hardest part is deciding what sort of time you’re supposed to carve out for yourself, how much money you’re supposed to take from the swear jar and put towards an elaborate coffee concoction, and where you might find a comfortable park bench to cry on in whatever god-forsaken city you happen to be in. And in those moments, making decisions is hard. But when you give yourselfgifts that contribute to your daily quota of self-care in a way that is meaningful to you, you may gradually find that you no longer ask Siri, “Where is a good place in this city to cry.”

For me, nothing is more anxiety-inducing than turning my phone on airplane mode and forcing myself into a bubble bath tormented by my own thoughts and shampoo in my eye, because I’m six years old, evidently. But no one says you need to — or should — abide by society’s frothy constructs of what constitutes self-care. Sometimes it doesn’t mean turning your phone off (literally, the horror), but just leaving yourself little reminders that you matter. Because if you’re going to let anyone’s opinion decide how you should feel about yourself, it’s your own, you bad bitch, you.

Here are some ideas to keep on hand for some much-needed and well-deserved TLC.

The Self-Love Pinky Ring

https://www.instagram.com/p/BGpZ6UCODNb/?taken-by=fredandfar

Ah, the ever-forgotten pinky. Ah, the ever-forgotten idea that you don’t need to sit around idly waiting for someone else to put a ring on it when you’re itching for a shiny object like, yesterday. L.A.-based jewelry company Fred + Far designed this little gem of an idea to remind women to “commit” to themselves. Interpret that any way you like, but the premise is golden.

Each ring (made from conflict-free white sapphire and available in everything from sterling silver to rose gold) comes with a contract vowing to honor, choose, and remember yourself every day. Those tasks sound intuitive, what with the idea that you quite literally spend 24 hours a day with yourself, but we often let our needs take a backseat to other peoples’. Samira Far, the co-founder along with Melody Godfred, told Racked that with the ring’s upside triangle “we harness of the power of the divine feminine.” She continued, “There’s no other ring like it on the market. Most pinky rings are either inspired by traditional men’s signet rings, or are simply thin little bands.”

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