SELF LOVE

Who am I?

This is a woman who is whole. A woman who is loved and cared for. A woman who invests in exploring and being her true self, her ME. A woman who believes in the bond among women. A brave woman. A worthy woman. A chosen woman. A phenomenal woman.

SELF LOVE

Awakening

I took the breath. It was my first step. I let time slow. That was my next step.  I stopped rushing. Filling time. Feeling busy. Feeling full but empty and dull.  I closed my eyes. I looked in. I found it all.  Everything that had been brushed aside.  Overlooked. Unacknowledged.  My ME was there.  Patient. Waiting. There. All along.  I opened my eyes. My next step.  I let my ME lead. THE defining step.   The changes were subtle. They were extreme.  They were everything in between.   

SELF LOVE

Mother of Dragons

I spoke to my mom today to ask how my daughters are doing since I'm out of town and she’s taking care of them. She told me about how they used flowers pots to create a nook in the backyard where they can read books. She said, “It was completely their idea!” and of course it was. Because they are four. And they are still their untarnished, purest versions. They are full of good ideas and confidence and light and feelings they are feeling in real time. My job is not to crush them. To help them preserve their ME,...

SELF LOVE

The Last Guest to Arrive

11 pm. Everyone in the house asleep, except for me. And so, my anxiety invites herself into the room to keep me company. She takes what was the air and makes it into her pool. She does laps around the room and I hold my breath, submerged, paralyzed, at her whim. My anxiety is clever. She likes to play dress up. Sometimes she shows up disguised as spiders. Other times a man in the corner of the room. I'm asleep. I'm awake. I'm somewhere in between. She is with me everywhere.  I see her. I don't mean figuratively. She manifests herself and...

SELF LOVE

Obsession

There was a time, that my ME was drunk on obsession. Replaying old stories on repeat, until I shamed or blamed myself into oblivion. Starving myself of food and love and self acceptance. Consuming myself with judgment - from others, from myself. All the things that could have been done better. The body parts that should look better. Function better. The milestones that remain out of reach. The mistakes, the mistakes, the mistakes. My ME was high on these regrets. The insufficiency. The dreams deferred. But now my ME is sober. My ME creates space for the unknown. She can...

SELF LOVE

In Bloom

All the parts I locked away and neglected Are opening. I reveal myself to myself, And revel in myself. Turns out I am not a tight bud desperately trying to keep it all together. I am an open blossom who is ready to let it all go, And take it all in.

SELF LOVE

Feeling It

All the ways We try to avoid our pain When the only way through Is to feel it. My ME reminds me to feel.

SELF LOVE

Self Love Queen

I feel Like a Queen Living luxuriously Draped in a cloak Lined with my hope And adorned with my love  

SELF LOVE

View from the Top

I’ve put you a hill… More like a mountain. I’ve surrounded you with gardens and light That in the distance shimmering… Compel me to climb. I climb this woman-made incline This pedestal Fueled by the hope… Of one day reaching you   And yet, The closer I get The more I see The more I realize Each garden a mirage Created by my love, so determined to find a place To plant and grow   I reach you Atop my own personal Mt. Olympus And you stand And I stand And I, no longer craning my neck, Trying to distinguish...

SELF LOVE

Love and Loss

Where does lost love go? Does it linger… a shadow on one’s heart that forever changes all future love? Does it burn away… inconsequential, forgotten? When a love is lost, abruptly cut short, can it still grow? Does it fill one’s heart and give her strength to continue, or is it a vacancy that swallows you whole? When I honor my ME, my love is constant. Even when love with another shifts away, love for myself remains. In periods of loss, my ME holds me steady. 

SELF LOVE

Soul Song

I breathe My soul song slips into the room lingering On my elation. I let go And let in The enigmatic with open arms. I sleep And dream of moments like this one Where all is light and life is letting Me embrace ME.

SELF LOVE

Amnesia

I self impose amnesia To relieve myself of you. To make my way forward Without remembering a thing About you About us.   But you can’t be forgotten: you existed, you still exist. And despite my pain, I’m still here, intact. More intact in fact than when you were here.   So instead of forgetting, I must push myself to remember us honestly. Because honestly, you did not honor my ME. And when we were together, neither did I. So I choose to remember.